Category: the Rant Board
this is kind of a delicate topic, but that's never stopped me from speaking my mind. I'm too through with funeral homes and their sales people!!!!! They suck!!!!
On Saturday, my 91 year old dad went home to be with the lord, walked across the rainbow bridge, and became as the undertaker said a decedent. For those of you who went "huh?" as I did, that's a dead guy.
Yes, I'm sad about his death, but I'm mad at the cost of preparing a decent send off for him. Yesterday, after returning from the funeral home, I felt slimy and in desperate need of a bath.
Dad is being cremated. Oh yes, the ashes of that lovely process are called cremains.
Anyway, the lady who assisted my stepmom and me was very nice and helpful. More importantly unlike the man I dealt with after my mother died, this woman I believe was honest. . Unlike mom's funeral director she didn't try to slip extras in the contract. After the fifty eleventh time I stopped cheater dude, he was "my you are sharp." Damn right.
Ok here is what I mean by ridiculous. My dad is being interred in a walnut urn. This is a box about a foot tall and sixor seven inches wide. Cost for this simple job of carpentry which any craftsman worth his salt could make in about an hour and ahalf was $450.00. The cheap model, which looked like a woodworking project produced by a middle schooler was $295.00.
The guest book, which I could pick up at wallmart for $5.99 was sold to us for $25.00.
The coffin which they put him in to be cremated set us back $295.00 We got the cheap one. I mean after all it's getting burned up. They had them in there costing upwards of thousands.
Then on the contract they had something called incidental services for $2,773.00. After I saw that if my step mom hadn't been there, believe me, there would have been an incident and someone might have been attending a service in her own place of business.
The funeral home's ambiance was enhanced with this maudlin sad music in the background. If I hear bridge over troubled waters played by synthesized strings one more time, so help me henrietta, I'm going to smash the speaker!!!
They act like the dead person is still alive. remarks like "how would he feel in this......" He's in heaven. What these professionals are dealing with is the left overs that couldn't go.
My dad was a wonderful man, and I'm so honored that he raised me. His memmorial service at the church will be lovely, as will his burial at arlington national cemetary. However, all the stuff I had to endure preparing these things is beyond belief.
Thanks for reading my rant. HOpe it made sense, and I feel so much better!!!
Sounds horrible. When my mom died, my cousin took care of everything for me because I was too upset and overwhelmed to deal with it. When my dad died, my stepmother took care of things. So I haven't had to deal with funeral home directors and hope I never do.
they say funeral business, and it is just that. haven't the beatles written a song called the tax man? and my condolences on your father's death.
Holly, I'm so sorry about your dad. It is truly a business, and they make used car salesmen seem like upstanding citizens at times. We don't know when my mother will die, but we've pre-planned a fair amount of stuff with her involvement.
Lou
lou, if i know ahead of time, I'm going to go take care of everything. then my kids won't have to go through this. You were very wise.
Another fun job is being executor, or as they now say personal representative, for the estate. My brother is a sociopathic idiot, so I got this responsibility by default. I hate paper work and am sharp as a bowling ball about stocks, bonds, etc. etc. etc.
For a blind person, this is a terrible place to be with too much responsibility. Additionally, I have the "I hate to bother you but......." going on all the time. I think I may shave my head. Otherwise I'll just pull all the hair out and we'll be done with it.
I promise gentle readers this will be the last whine for a while anyway. Please pray for me.
So help me, I'm getting tired of hitting wrong keys. Holly, the preplanning was my mother's idea. This was one of the better decisions she made concerning her care. You might try the companies that sold your father the stocks and bonds for some assistance with sorting that stuff out. Your father's attourney might be of assistance as well. Short of those things, You might try finding someone you trust who has financial planning savvy to help you through the quagmire. Know that you're in my prayers.
Lou
Wow, crazy. I used to think it was a bit macabre of Costco to sell coffins, but on reconsideration may be it's not such a horrible idea. There´s quite a funny scene in the Big Lobowski (one of my favorite movies) where the main characters bring their dead friend to a funeral home and argue with the "sales guy" refusing to buy their urn and bringing their own from Ikea. It just seems to undignifying somehow, to make money of these things, of people who are already in great distress and bereifment, I think this business should be regulated somehow, another example of the free market gone crazy, though this is not the place to go into that sort of rant.
My condolances certainly and if you have questions about stocks, bonds and the like you can message me. I worked in the financial sector for a number of years and plan to get back there, plus I have a degree in economics and plan on a graduate degree. I can tell you general stuff and out-of-my butt financial advice but I am certainly no professional, disclaimer etc.
But best of luck with it all and don´t let the stress of it wear you out, it´s hard enough to lose a parent I am sure, though I suppose most of us will have to go through that, after all the alternative of never losing a parent means we´d go before they do.
I remember when my dad died, and I had to take care of the funeral. The planning of the funeral itself was a horible experience, and to add to it, the director was an asshole at best. They refused the most minimal of services, and would only grant them for another ten grand. It was a sudden and shocking death, so along with feeling bereft, and completely alone, my remaining family and I were forced to cope with many unanswered questions, all because of a greety, underhanded salesmen, who had the nerve to call himself the director of a funeral home.
My condolences go out to you Holly.
It really sucks that during the grieving process, people get slammed with huge costs. You'd think that people would give you a break. But then again, it's business, and emotion is rarely in the equation for that.